Can Support Change Your Choices?

I just finished watching the season finale of The Crossing. Very intriguing show. I hope it has another season, because there are a lot of cool things they can continue to explore with their time-travel concept. There is a huge undertone of ethical dilemma running through the show. When is sacrificing some acceptable to protect the greater good? I'll try to not ruin the show for you as I talk about some of the concepts it got me thinking about!

The concept that "got" me the most was how one person that we thought was a "bad guy" ended up helping everyone in the end. In hindsight, we can suspect that they were doing what they thought was right, and when it started to not feel right, they were trapped. This person felt like they had no option but to follow through with their mission(s) and their orders. Until our "good guys" proved that they had the upper hand. Then suddenly, this person flipped. They changed their loyalty and helped out tremendously. Actually, now that I think about it, this basically happened many times throughout the show, to lesser extents because the others were never truly "bad guys" the way this person was.

This concept really affected me, because how many times does that happen here in the real world? When people want to help, but they feel alone and unsupported, and so from fear, they do the wrong thing? They hurt others, and in doing so hurt themselves. And then they have to justify it to themselves, which allows the poison to fester and numb them, which can cause them to become worse and more miserable people.

We've seen this throughout history. I believe I read about Nazi soldiers at one point who didn't want to do what they were doing, but felt they had no choice. If they had access to hope and belief in support of a better cause, I wonder how that would have gone differently. Or even here, in ghettos and things of that nature, where kids turn to gangs or selling drugs because they think they have to, or because they are trying to buy a new life for themselves and their families. Things they know are dangerous to themselves and others, but continue on because they can't see any support worth trusting to help them get out of it. That reminds me of another one! The show The Fosters, which just had its series finale, once had young girls who were prostitutes, and they were trying to help them. Many of them felt trapped and couldn't trust the "safety" offered by the "good guys" because it just didn't seem like enough to compete with the "bad guys". True some of those are just tv shows, but are you telling me this never happens? Of course it does.

This is a power things like social media have these days. Showing people that they have support. That there is another way. That there are people who believe the same things that they do, that will not judge their current situation, and who can help. Reliable help. Help that makes them feel safe from what they feel stuck in. Social media can be a poison and affect our connections and self-esteem negatively when used and perceived in some ways, but in other ways it can be used to bring people together. Unite people who feel alone in their own small circles such that they can see there are SO MANY of them in this big wide world. It can be used to inspire, find role models, find new things to learn about and explore. Personally, I don't really understand why or how people can consume social media in these negative ways. Of COURSE people are only posting positive things in their lives, and of COURSE there are negative things happening to them. Nothing inside me is thinking that everyone has a picture perfect life. Nothing inside of me is even comparing possessions or trips (okay, maybe trips) with those that I see on social media. In fact, you know what I mostly see on social media? Inspirational quotes and videos. It all has to do with what/who you are following. It's just like real life, when you let toxic people into your life. Are you following people who are always angry and bitter? Stop following them. Stop consuming all that negativity. Is someone going through something that is triggering you? Like maybe you got divorced, and someone you know is planning a wedding and it feels like you are getting stabbed all over your body when you see all those pictures? Then just unfollow them for a while. You can do that without unfriending them these days. They'll never know (okay maybe they'd be confused if you said you didn't see one of their popular posts, but still). You're responsible for what you consume. And you are also responsible for what you put out there. You can be a voice that touches others and helps them know that they are not alone. Not everyone who sees your posts is going to like or comment on it. You probably reach more people than you realize. Keep that in mind.

So back to the concept of support. If you are confident in the support system available to you, it seems like you will make better decisions. It seems like that cranks us down a notch from "survival" to "community" and "collaboration". Think about that. Both for you and for others. I want to do a whole other post on people in survival mode, but for now, let me just say - some of us learn in the most devastating of ways that we are the only ones who are going to look out for us. Sure, that may mean choices appear "selfish" but would you call a trapped raccoon selfish for attacking you when it thinks you are going to hurt or kill it? Of course not. And guess what, if that raccoon had a pack of other raccoons with it, maybe it would have faith in its group just enough to focus on escape rather than harming you. The goal changes when we have support. It all comes back to fear. Fear and survival.

I think the biggest point I want to make today is, we need to work on providing support to everyone who wants to make good choices but feels trapped. Whether its because they are depressed, or mixed up with bad people, or abused at home, or even just pigeon-holed into a role they don't want. Whatever it is, and however severe it is, we need to work on providing solid support. Support that people can be made aware of and trust when it comes up against whatever is keeping them stuck. Because just like in The Crossing season finale, sometimes people just need to see the strength of that support in order to go all in on doing the right thing.

Let me know what you think. What are support systems that you've found that you have faith in? How did it happen? Can you see how those support systems can be made visible to others? Leave a comment here or on whatever social media outlet you found this on. Let's get some more visibility out there to those who need it.

#Support #Stuck #Fear #Afraid #Choices