Stress is Instinctual, Not Logical

I heard something the other day that really helped me give myself some slack as far as anxiety.

Stress is instinctual, not logical.

Stress is an evolutionary response. It senses a threat, and it responds. Stress, the fight-or-flight response, does not sit around logically analyzing the situation. In cavemen times, you'd be dead already. If you see the eyes of a tiger in a bush in caveman times, your brain doesn't say, "Oh weird, tigers usually aren't this far out. What beautiful eyes it has. I wonder if it is a girl or a boy? Gender is a indicator of aggression. Does it have any babies? Baby tigers are so cute. And determines another factor in the potential aggression of this animal. Is it hungry? Do I have anything nearby I could feed it? Does it seem injured? Does it want to eat me?"

No. The stress response doesn't sit around collecting information and asking questions. It says RUN!!!!!!!!

Our stress response is the same even if our environment is not. Our biological response cannot determine the difference between seeing a hungry tiger and running late for work or missing a deadline. You cannot logic your way out of stress. It happens before you have time to think about it. At that point, you have to feel it out. Process it. Your adrenaline is going, because your body wants to PHYSICALLY RUN. But you're not running, you're sitting in a car. This is where road rage can show up - a use of that adrenaline.

Forgive yourself. It isn't your fault. You are not weak. You are a product of a biological response to a technologically advanced society.

Now, what next? How do you manage it, then?

Well let's think about what's happening exactly. As tasks, demands and problems are thrown your way, you have the energy, time and capacity to deal with them. You have the adaptive energy to deal with them. Once the demands exceed your adaptive energy, then you have stress. You are still having things thrown at you, but no longer have sufficient resources to deal with them. So you need to restore those resources.

Here is my general plan when I need to reset that works for me:

Phase 1: Redirect (or Distract)

When I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety, my brain is running a million miles a minute. There is panic, anger, frustration, defeat, and any number of other emotions and processes. I can't just stop and still my brain. I would be stuck in these negative emotions, and would end up just ruminating even if the outside over-stimulation stopped. First I have to redirect that hectic energy. Phase 1 for me is redirecting that energy to something enjoyable. Having a (loose) schedule of things to do that involve physical effort and fun. Going for a hike, going to an amusement park, checking out a museum, etc. And walking pretty much ALL DAY is usually a requirement. I literally distract myself with fun and tire myself out. Positive exhaustion.

Phase 2: Reconnect and Recharge

Sometimes I am still in my head even after that. That's okay. My body has been moving, energy has been pumping through me, and I am ready to move onto Phase 2. Now I'm ready to dive in. I journal. I journal and journal and journal. It feels like it doesn't even make sense, or isn't related. But what's really happening is that the layers and layers of stress and emotions are coming out. Something feels off and I can't put my figure on it, and that's because it isn't one thing - it is a ton of different things. Even if what you're journaling feels unrelated, just keep going. Get all the noise out. You will probably make some realizations along the way. And rest. Get LOTS of rest. When we are stressed or depressed, we require much more sleep. We're also not sleeping as soundly. This lack of rest leads me to my next point. Meditation. I've done a ton of meditation in my day, from what I would consider "normal" meditation to guided meditation, meditation with mudras, meditation as part of Kundalini yoga, and all kinds of other things. I've recently started learning more about Vedic Meditation and Transcendental Meditation. The main point with these types of meditation is that you are using a sound, recited internally and not externally, to lead you deeper into your mind. And unlike other mantras, these mantras are sounds that have NO MEANING, so you are processing them strictly at the level of sound. You're supposed to have a paid trained teacher assign a mantra to you based on things like your age, Ayurvedic makeup, etc that will use sounds that should resonate with you better. But honestly, I feel like you could probably come up with something on your own that would still be half decent. Think about how the sounds make you feel. Do they soothe you? Wake you up? Empower you? Use the bija "seed" mantras to create something that feels good and try quietly saying it to yourself in your mind over and over.

Not into meditation, or this kind of meditation? No problem.

Get back in touch with yourself. Read inspiring material, go out in nature and just relax and look at how the grass, trees, flowers sway in the wind. Feel the sun on your face. Listen to music like Snatam Kaur or Maya Fiennes. Watch Super Soul Sunday. Keep journaling. Do some yoga. And whatever else reconnects you back with yourself. These are just some suggestions. Draw, paint, dance, write poetry, cook, build... anything.

Phase 3: Re-Enter

Once you've reconnected with yourself, you're ready to bring all that goodness back into the "real world". Remind yourself that you are only human and there is only so much you can do. Remind yourself that you will be okay no matter what (yes, even if you fail, even if you lose your job, even if everything goes wrong - you will still be okay). And take everything one thing at a time. SLOW DOWN. Ask for help or delegate where you can. Schedule and give yourself buffer time where you can. And then just forget the expectations and the outcome, and just go full in. Lose yourself in the work or task. Set timers if you need to come up at certain times. Do not anticipate how long it will take while you are in it. That will only stress you out. Now, some of us have bosses that want constant updates while you're smack in the middle, which can create stress and pull you out of your work and force you to analyze things at this alternative level. Have planned breaks where you can create responses and gauge a timeline, if you have to. And then either update them during those breaks or have the update you created on hand whenever they ask for one next. Or ask them to give you some more time to give them a proper update when you get to a good stopping point. Breaking concentration can cause stress and add task-switching time to your tasks, so try to find ways to prevent that from creating more stress for you. Multi-tasking also causes stress, so try to avoid that as much as possible.

Through all of this, remember that you are not weak. You are strong. You just need tools to recharge you so that you can handle the millions of things you deal with. Just because others seem to have things together and handle things better does not mean that they do. Maybe they drink it away in the evenings. Maybe they take out their anger on colleagues or loved ones. Maybe they simply just don't care, which is why they aren't getting stressed. Maybe they just put on a brave face but are falling apart inside. Or maybe they are doing exactly all of these things that you are now starting to do. Do not assume that others have it all together. They just have other ways of dealing with stress. Some good, some bad. Do what YOU need to do to handle it.

How do you handle stress and recharge so that you can get back on task?

#Stress #Frustrated #anxiety #Overwhelm