Do Not Let Them Get Inside Your Head
- Nina
- Apr 23, 2018
- 3 min read
When we surround ourselves with people we respect, sometimes we can make the mistake of letting their opinions get inside our heads. Or worse, we let the negative and insecure people around us get us caught up in their image of us.
I used to be pretty bad at this. I've gotten infinitely better over the years with a lot of hard work, but every once in a while, when a particularly long and draining situation occurs, I can slip back into this habit.
We can't let this happen. We can't listen to them. You and I have to guard our beliefs and self-talk from their toxic words. Don't believe them.
You may ask, "But what if they're right?"
Impossible. At the very worst, it is a mere opinion of a snapshot in time. Fleeting.
Someone's image and opinion of us is more about them than it is about us. They can't possibly see us in our entirety. They don't know what is in our hearts or all the effort that has gone into each and every thing that we do. They don't know what we've done and what we will do in the near future. And this small subset of us, this limited view, is filtered through their own lens. The experiences they've had, the traumas they've been through, the times they have been shot down, discouraged, taught to believe certain things - all of this is coming out in what they are saying to you. Anything they have to say about you, good or bad, is based on all of the things they think and feel about themselves and about life. And that is NOT fact. It is what they have been programmed and conditioned to believe about the couple things they've decided to isolate and pinpoint in you.
Please keep in mind - YOU do the same to others. As do I. As do we all.
Okay, I'll humor you. Suppose what they think IS true. Then what?
Again, it is just a snapshot in time. Meaningless, in the grand scheme of things. What matters is what you believe. What you believe paints the path forward.
If you believe them, it will just slow you down. Make you doubt yourself. Question yourself. Feel bad about yourself. Suck out your energy and leave you miserable and exhausted, with barely enough strength to do what needs to be done. Who has time for that?
If you believe in yourself instead, it will power you forward. You thoughts and beliefs are your fuel. You have to fuel your way forward. Be too busy DOING the thing to sit around and wonder if you CAN do it. That's how you prove them wrong. That's how you succeed.
And guess what? Even if it doesn't turn out the way you thought, you will have learned something. You will have fought hard and discovered new avenues to do things that will help you in the future. You may have even made new connections that will come in handy. The best part is that you will respect yourself. You didn't give up and you gave it your all. That's where you get self-respect from, and respect from those around you. If you do all of that, I promise even your doubter will be a bit impressed.
Your beliefs affect your quality of life, your drive, how you treat others... everything. It is TOO IMPORTANT to guard this with your life. This doesn't mean you should attack others for having a mistaken opinion of you. Like I mentioned earlier, they are just repeating their own view of themselves and of life. If anything, understand that this thing they see in you is triggering something painful in them. Don't attack them for it, just see that it has no power over you. If anything, feel bad for them. Their dreams were crushed, so they don't think you can achieve yours. They punish themselves and their bodies, so they attack anyone who has the flaws they are desperately trying to avoid and they can't stand that you are actually happy with yourself. They are negative and miserable, and can't stand that you are happy and optimistic for absolutely no reason. None of these are about you! It is all about them! Their issues! Their fears! They have no power over you. It isn't even about you.
The next time someone expresses an opinion that makes you think less of yourself, remember where it is coming from. A point of pain within them. Remember that it has nothing to do with you, show them compassion, and then dismiss the opinion and keep on being what you are - a confident warrior.
