Feel, Express, Persevere

While traveling, my plane-mates were interested in the book I was reading – “The Fear Cure” by Lissa Rankin, MD. I got to explain it to a polite, considerate, and friendly young college student as well as a woman older than me who struggled with anxiety. I love the conversations you get into with people while traveling, and I love that stigma around things like anxiety seems to be lifting enough for complete strangers to connect over it.

I hope I was put in their paths to introduce them to this book and I hope that it brings them healing and guidance.

I'm not very far into the book yet, but the title has a double meaning. It isn't just about curing fear; it is about letting fear cure you. If you know Lissa Rankin's other work, you know this book is about how emotions, thoughts and beliefs can affect your health in a negative or positive way. This book is meant to help you utilize your fear and cultivate courage and strength out of it. As a doctor with her own amazing story, Lissa brings the science and studies in to back up what might otherwise be overlooked as fluffy new age rhetoric. It's legit. Check it out!

As we know, emotions are simply feedback. Emotions are neither right nor wrong, they just are. They give us feedback about what is happening in our lives and in our hearts and minds. Fear, and more specifically, one of its forms – anxiety – is just another way our body and our emotions tell us that something isn’t right. Something is out of alignment. And the sooner we can do something about it, the sooner we can get back into alignment and feel better, mind, body, and soul.

Lately I’ve been going through a tremendous amount of stress. Long hours at work, deadlines, problems popping up like whack-a-mole, and no time to recover or regain my confidence for over a month straight now. I’ve had my ups and downs in how I’ve dealt with it. For days at a time, I am committed to being positive, professional, and knowing that all I can do is my best. Not letting it get to me. And then some days I fall apart, have panic attacks, and even become sick. I know this is a huge lesson for my life. I know I am exercising my mental muscles to be able to handle situations like this with poise. I know I am supposed to be learning how to set boundaries, manage my expectations of myself, and not let others’ words or emotions affect me.

As I go through this painful time, I am appreciative of this lesson. I am clawing tooth and nail to pull myself out of each breakdown and bring myself back into confidence, peace, and health. At the same time, sometimes I need to just express how completely miserable I am. We all go through times like this. It is unavoidable. Express your emotions. Do not repress them. Don’t pretend everything is fine when it isn’t. I know society tries to shut us down and give us weird looks when we are anything but perky and perfect, but that is not what being human is about. We are not supposed to be positive all the time. We have a wide range of emotions, and all of them are important, all of them are valid, and all of them demand to be expressed (in a healthy way).

If you’re lucky, you have a support system of people who can help you rebuild your confidence when you are feeling flat and defeated. But if you don’t have a support system, that is fine, too. At the end of the day, the healing must come from within you. As lonely as it may feel, there is a different but equally powerful strength in going through the flames by yourself - rising like the phoenix.

If someone you know is going through a rough time like this, know that it isn’t about you. Support them as you can, but don’t let their frustration at their situation make you feel powerless or useless. Do what you can, and know that they appreciate you regardless of if they are able to express it right now or spend much time with you. They may need some alone time to work through their mess. This too shall pass, and you are a beacon of light in an otherwise vast ocean of darkness.

To those whom have supported me in any way recently, thank you. I’m a little wrapped up in my own world right now, but I see you, and I appreciate you.

Perseverance Playlist

"Survivor" by Destiny's Child

"Seize the Day" from the musical Newsies

"The World Will Know" from the musical Newsies

"Swish Swish" by Katy Perry

"Titanium" by David Guetta feat. Sia

"Flexicution" by Logic

"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Benatar

"Firework" by Katy Perry

"Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift

"Born for Greatness" by Papa Roach

"Feelin' Myself" by Will.i.am feat. Miley Cyrus