Can People Change?
- Nina
- Jan 8, 2017
- 3 min read
I used to believe that people didn’t really change. As people grow older, they realize the consequences of their actions and those consequences are no longer acceptable, so they adjust their behavior. But the desire, the thoughts, the character – that all stayed the same. I basically believed that as people grew and matured, they denied their true nature more and more in order to live the life they expected for themselves.
I was wrong.
Not only was I wrong, but when you believe something like this, it is telling. It means unconsciously that’s exactly what you are doing – what I was doing.
If you have not changed, I think it is nearly impossible to understand that others can change. I believe that we all come to a point in our lives where our perspectives of reality are cracked open, and we see the light shining in. Our framework of reality is challenged, in a good way. For some, that can happy earlier in life. For some, that may not happen until you are much, much older. For me, it started to happen when I was 24.
You spend your whole life knowing who you are, knowing right and wrong, knowing how people should behave and what is acceptable. And then something happens. For me, it was meeting someone very special whom my Ego and deeply held beliefs judged as wrong, but my Intuition knew was a good person. This made no sense to me, and I hadn’t been presented with a scenario quite like this before. I was extremely confused, as we all are when our perceptions of reality are broken down. Maybe for you, it has to do with what you think you deserve in life. Or who a particular person in your life truly is beneath the layer of personality. Or a sudden desire to change your career. Or maybe you just finally realize that you matter, and that you need to make yourself a priority (and that doing so is not selfish). Whatever it is, something changes, and it opens you up to a whole new understanding of yourself, of others, and of life.
Because you understand things differently, you have changed forever. And because you know you can change, you realize that others can, as well.
That is key.
Sure, some people are not changing. Some people are simply adjusting behaviors in order to get what they want or be who they think they need to be. Some. But so many of us are learning and growing, deepening our understanding of the Universe and releasing limiting beliefs and the drama, anger and conflict that surround them.
This is when you are free.
Since I believed that people just changed their behaviors to deny their nature and become who they think they're supposed to be, I looked deeper into what that meant for me. I was denying the artistic, creative, expressive part of myself. It didn’t fit the responsible, rational, mature, technical person I thought the world required me to be. I repressed it and wrote it off as childish and pointless. As I finally learned to embrace it, I felt myself blossom into a unique, diverse and thriving individual. I realized that what I thought was foolish is actually one of the things that makes me such an asset in a technical field, and helps me bring passion and new thinking to my work. It also helped me find more joy and confidence in everyday life, as I finally let myself be my true self. I continue to search for outlets for my creative expression. It’s a work in progress!
Do you think that people can change? If not, why? Is the reason something that you are unconsciously inflicting upon yourself? Can you think of ways to free yourself from those beliefs?
